great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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