Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
