so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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