i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
