If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
