oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
my poor anus
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize