Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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