Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
