I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
