Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
