I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
