Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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