and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is the high leading the old right now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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