He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
