Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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