Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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