nut hugger
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
