put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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