haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
