Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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