i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
