You can't motorboat a personality
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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