where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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