we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
