We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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