nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
