I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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