Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
