somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize