im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
