turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
