Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
A+ Viking dick
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
