I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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