My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
