i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
