Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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