I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
