Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
