So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
