he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
