and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
