We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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