I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is Oprah even human
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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