She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
