So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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