Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She bit a glass in half.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
