why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
