I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
