Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize