her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
