Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
