That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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