called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize