At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
