I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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