I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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