Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
