Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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