i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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