So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
