i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
