he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
