I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
