If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize