Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
